Mana Battery

This post was written on 4-19-08 when my internet was down

That’s what I’ve been thinking this week. It started with a guy, it always starts with a guy. He freaked out on me. We were friends and then he started to blame me for all the problems in the guild. Not like only guild friends, I mean texting, calling, emailing friends. Why then, did he have to say all those mean things? We got in a fight and people blamed me. He made them believe I lied, that I was the evil one. Then he stole TONS of stuff from the guild bank, kicked everyone off the website and bounced. Sold his account – never again to come back to the server.

So, why am I the bad one. I offered to leave, to not be in the guild. I was told that was not necessary. I offered to step down, to not be an officer anymore. I was told we would talk about it. Then people started leaving. They left the guild and put me on ignore. I saw I was the problem, but no one but the GM would talk to me about why I was the problem. The GM told me that he would work it out, that I had to trust him. He told me to make a new website, to download mods to start DKP and I did. I gave and gave to the guild bank to build it back up. I farmed for raid consumables and turned everything I had over to my so called friends. They told me people were coming back, they were wrong.

Raids were not happening, and when they did some people refused to run if I was in the group. There weren’t even 9 people left that wanted me around. So I left the guild. I wished them the best, and /gquit. Immediately a cheer went up. People started rejoining, coming back. I was lied to. They were too cowardly to stand up to my face and tell me to leave even when I volunteered. I gave my all, and they couldn’t even be big enough to make a decision. I was so mad, destoyed by the fact that my family would betray me like that. I consistently said over and over “It’s not me, it was him”, but they didn’t listen. Even though he stole everything and left it was still somehow my fault.

So now, with their 15 remaining people, how are they going to run raids? Half of the 15 don’t know what mods are. They dont know how to use the mouse to turn so they are constantly taking damage in shatters. They don’t read about their class, they argue about proven theorycrafting techniques (if they even know what that means), and they think that they can walk into a 25 man with no experience and down any boss on the first try without studying a bit of information about the fight. The other half are the best players I know when it comes to the game, but when it comes to leading the guild – they suck. They can’t make decisions, they raid “when they feel like it”, and they will never ask someone to leave because they only PVP or they dont want to raid.

So what’s left of the guild? A bunch of non organized children running around doing whatever they feel like whenever they feel like. Is this an endgame guild? Not in my mind. Some are holding onto strings of “how it used to be”, and some are vowing to be the best “casual” players ever. How do you succeed being casual? No schedule, no plan, no instruction. Can you succeed? Will they succeed? I don’t think so but only time can tell.

So, now im in a new guild. First day I was there we tried Mag for the first time. I’ve killed him before with a PUG, but most in the group have never done him. We got him to 1% before something happened with a cat on the keyboard.

My husband followed me to the new guild. He reminded me that in the end, it doesn’t matter what guild we are in as long as we are together because when we stop playing it will only be us left. The guildies aren’t going to follow us to old age and come over to talk about the “good ole’ days”. The guildies aren’t going to be there when we buy our first house, or have our first child, or if tragedy happens. It will only be him and me. So in the end I’m good. I found out about some people’s true personalities. I learned that even though at this time in my life some people seem important, they aren’t.

Maybe this lesson is why I had to go through this experience. I had put too much stock in a fictional game. My life was wrapped up in ideas that weren’t real because I thought the people behind the characters were. Don’t get me wrong, I still have friends, but when it all comes down to it I will have to remember that my “friends” are not a night elf druid and a gnome mage.